The Creation of a Legacy...
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The Story behind the company
I created JenBubbie Enterprises, LLC back in February 2017. And that was that. I created it which meant I went through the necessary steps legally to form the company. I even went so far as to create some stellar business cards, car magnets, and promotional pens. I was both PROUD and DISAPPOINTED because that’s ALL I did for 15 months. What was holding me back? Deep down inside I knew that in order to be successful and have my stories and motivational advice spread like wildfire that I needed to be my blindly optimistic, funny, and loving self. And in February 2017 through May 2018, I was NONE OF THOSE THINGS!
All of this can be traced back to the unexpected demise of my 18-year-old brother in 1996. He was the only boy amongst two sisters. I was nowhere in sight when he died from the effects of a brain aneurysm. You see, it was in South America at the time serving a church mission with no apparent way to come back. My sister was the one taking charge--dealing with the pain, grief, and despair behind a mask of stoic leadership. My family forever changed after that and rather than attempting to put the pieces back together and heal, the dysfunctionality just worsened. I steered clear of most of it by keeping my head in the clouds and keeping an extraordinary sense of humor even through a tumultuous divorce in 2014 after 15 years with an emotionally and psychologically abusive man. But, ultimately, the optimism and sense of humor vanished completely on November 12th, 2016 when my father died unexpectedly from internal bleeding and organ failure. He was my light switch. He and I would always joke back and forth and just his very presence in my life kept the laughter and the light-heartedness alive. But all in all, the real one that suffered most was my only living sibling--my older sister, Jennifer. You see, my sister and dad were inseparable. Although my sister lived on the East coast and my parents were on the West Coast, there was NEVER a day that would go by where either my dad or my sister wouldn’t initiate a phone call to the other. They would even go so far as to travel together on vacations, giving my dad a much-needed respite from caring for my bedridden mother and giving my sister an excuse to leave her lonely workaholic life. They were truly best friends. I specifically remember the day after the funeral, my sister, broken and melancholy, came into the bedroom where I was staying in our mother’s house, laid on the bed beside me as I spooned her in comfort. That was her moment of utter despair and total humility, requiring that me, her younger sister whom she never asked for help in any way, be a source of strength for her that she no longer had.
Three months later, my beloved sister along with all the roles she served in my life (sister, best friend, mother, protector, confidant) vanished from this earth. She died in her sleep at the age of 44. You see, she had had bronchitis for over a week and as a result, the lining of her heart filled with an enormous amount of fluid and simply stopped her heart. It was at that moment that I knew the despair my sister had felt with my dad’s passing because Jen was MY EVERYTHING. I was truly empty. I had lost three of the four members of my family all to unexpected and unrelatable causes. I had walked away from a 15 year stifling and abusive marriage. And I was the one person left holding the bag of shit. Within 24 hours, I was a single mother raising three boys by myself in a state where I was to get a fresh start and therefore had no immediate support system, had three households to manage (my own in Seattle, my sister’s in Charlotte, and my father’s in Southern California), and still dealing with a disgruntled Ex who was hell-bent on destroying my will to succeed through countless court actions as well as random burglaries, etc. I had seemingly no choices. I had to keep going.
The day after Jen’s death, I arrived at her home in Charlotte, NC later at night to deal with EVERYTHING by myself. Upon entering her home through the garage, my eyes came immediately to a sign stood on the kitchen counter that read, "You never know how strong you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have." Baptism by fire was in full process. I had no choices but to rise from the ashes.
The Solution
In the days that followed, I came across several journals that my sister had attempted to write in but would only last handful pages at that. Each entry was pretty much a repeat of the previous entry. My sister was lonely, stressed out, a workaholic, paralyzed with fear in her ability to trust others, and skeptical of love in all its forms. It was during those efforts to peruse her writings that I realized that I was not going to let the 44 years of my sister’s life be in vain. Her struggles are mirrored in millions of other people’s lives. She was no different from any other human being on this planet. She died at a time when she was regretful, bewildered, and hopeless. It was then that the idea of JenBubbie Enterprises, LLC was born: to ignite change and foster growth in the amazing human beings that are amongst us. It was at my sister's death that I realized no man is an island and we all need each other to heal and journey forward.
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